Yes, I'm still alive. I get on Blogger daily just to check in with the blogs I personally follow, so it's not like I have been neglecting the blog world altogether. I guess I just forgot about fulfilling my end and keeping up with my blog. But I'm back.
Why tonight? Well, I think it has something to do with the fact that I feel weighed down with a lot of negative emotion right now. I needed a place to channel all that negativity and so I find myself here. I might go into self-pity mode, so I won't be offended if you stop reading here.
Alright, fair warning.
Today's Memorial Day. It really was a beautiful day today. My morning started out wonderfully with a brunch get-together with my best friend, J, and his girl/my good friend, Karissa, at Wildflower Bread Co. We had a great time, lots of laughs, just catching up and stuff. They came back to my house because J hadn't seen my bedroom since I had put in all the furniture and decor. We hung out for just a tad longer, then the two of them left. It was a brief but sweet little reunion.
After J & Kris left, I got in touch with my friend who had mentioned going to Bookman's on a quest for some new reading material. We found ourselves on a mini scavenger hunt in the stacks of books and came out victorious in the end. He ended up with three books and I with one -- East of Eden by John Steinbeck. The book is pretty long, somewhere around 560 something pages. But I've heard wonderful things about it, so that's on my summer reading list. Anyways, good little rendezvous with Paul at Bookman's.
I started to read my book when I got home. About an hour and twenty-something pages later, I fell asleep. Woke up two hours later and decided to go visit Chels. Here's where things went a bit downward. I hadn't seen Chels in a couple of weeks and figured it was time I spent some time with her. I got there and I could tell she was just out of sorts. I briefly attempted trying to talk to her about a guy that I might be interested in. She basically shot me down and made me feel like I don't have much of a chance. That was a failed conversation. I ended up prying what was wrong out of her and got loaded on about X, Y, & Z and a lot had to do with me. So, I didn't know what to tell her and just said I was sorry. Let's just say I felt pretty awesome about myself after that. Not.
What I would really like to do at this point is forget that whole conversation.
But I can't.
I would also really like to curl up on the couch with a movie and somebody that would run their fingers through my hair. Just keeping me next to them. I just want to feel someone beside me and have them be okay without words, knowing that their presence was enough.
But he isn't in my life.
