float on

I'm really digging this weather. Arizona is known for the hot and sunny days, but my favorite ones are the gray, rain drizzled ones. It is probably the opposite for people in rainy cities like Seattle. The rain is a welcome change from the norm for me. I get all nostalgic and thoughtful, it's almost cheesy. Or maybe it just is.

Spring break is a couple weeks away. No plans as of right now. I was hoping that I would have cash and good reason to spend said cash on a flight to Georgia, but I can't justify it at the moment. I wish I could. Plus, everyone and their mother buys plane tickets for spring break and the prices skyrocket around this time.

Graduation is around the corner -- three months. Three more months and I'll be done with this chapter of my life, the living-at-home, periods 0-5 school days, predictable Monday through Friday weeks, same-people-same-everything, life. I had an interview with my bishop today just to catch up, see what my plans were, where I was at, etc. He said something at the end of our meeting that stood out to me, though I had heard it many times before. What he said was, "It's an exciting time to be alive." That's the truth. Right now, it's not too thrilling, nor does the future promise thrills, but certainly change. Certainly change.

redecorated bedroom

sing for your supper tour.

Tonight was the FUN/Jack's Mannequin concert at Marquee Theatre in Tempe. Needless to say, but I will anyways, the show was incredible. I've always had a deep love for Andrew McMahon's music -- way back since the beginnings of Something Corporate. He being a pianist, cancer survivor, musician, artist, is so compelling. I saw him perform in 8th grade right after Everything in Transit was released. Since then, they released their sophomore album, The Glass Passenger. This tour was the close-up to Passenger before taking a break and heading back into the studio.

Somehow, I managed to make my way up to the front of the crowd. My friends were already there, but being short, they pushed me forward. I was mere feet from the stage, staring right up at one of my musical inspirations. He had such stage presence, such passion for every word that left his mouth. I loved every second. I wish I could re-live the experience. I'm attatching a video that was part of the show. His energy was infectious -- just check out the vid. The audio is poor (taped it from my phone), but watch it all the way through. Andrew is the definition of B.A.

does it matter?

Dad called me out today in church. I wasn't going to go to church today. I wanted to just chill at home in the quiet -- no TV, music, nothing. I thought of writing letters, cleaning my room, meditating. But apparently that wasn't a good reason as my dad came home and told me that I needed to be at church. As much as I begrudgingly listened to his lecture, and he was by no means yelling or upset, I am glad he came and got me. What I didn't like was that when he got up to bear his testimony, he closed it with the note that he was glad to see I had come to church, that he had gone home to get me, and was proud of me for deciding to come. I love my dad and I get that was his way of showing his love for me, but dang it. I didn't want all the "I'm-glad-you-came-today"s that followed Sacrament meeting.


I still haven't written the letter I intended to. It's a debate. One thing about myself is that I wear my heart and emotions on my sleeve. I'll open up to just about anyone willing to listen. I've learned from experience, not to give every piece of information and thought because people tend to freak out if you are that honest with them. The conversation goes from being a heart-to-heart to a bunch of " :/ I'm sorry." which means nothing. That is what is keeping me from this letter. I have been holding a grudge for a few months that I need to let go of. In my ideal, the letter would be a way for me to clear the air without having it be awkward. We'll see. I don't know.


Regardless of how lonely I feel, of how tired I am of the people in school or wherever I am, I am thankful for this girl.She loves me...and somebody has to love her, right? (;

water night.

Night with the eyes of a horse that trembles in the night,

night with eyes of water in the field asleep

is in your eyes, a horse that trembles,

is in your eyes of secret water.

Eyes of shadow-water,

eyes of well-water,

eyes of dream-water.

Silence and solitude,

two little animals moon-led,

drink in your eyes,

drink in those waters.

If you open your eyes,

night opens, doors of musk,

the secret kingdom of the water opens

flowing from the center of night.

And if you close your eyes,

a river fills you from within,

flows foward, darkens you:

night brings its wetness to the beaches in your soul.

The original version of this poem is in Spanish; it is called Agua Nocturna. This poem has become the lyrics for my current favorite song, Water Night by Eric Whitacre.

Last Saturday, I auditioned for Regional Choir. I selected my solo for the audition way back in November, a German Brahms piece titled Wie Melodien. It took a while, but it grew on me and I loved it by the time the audition came around. I made it into regionals, which I am ecstatic about. Not only did I make it in, but I had a personal best this year. I scored 87 out of 100 points, ranking me #10 of the 25 altos selected for the choir. My solo alone was a 58 out of 60, which I feel is certainly worth being proud of.

What does this have to do with Water Night? It is one of the pieces for our performance. I opened up the manila envelope with the clinician's music selections and was thrilled when I pulled it out. Listening to it is an ethereal experience. Being a part of it...that will be something entirely different.

Things I Learned from Watching Dear John:

1. Channing Tatum is the man. Oooh, so fine.
2. The film is never better than the book.
3. Cassie is much more patient than I give her credit for.
4. My husband will be worth the wait.