Dad called me out today in church. I wasn't going to go to church today. I wanted to just chill at home in the quiet -- no TV, music, nothing. I thought of writing letters, cleaning my room, meditating. But apparently that wasn't a good reason as my dad came home and told me that I needed to be at church. As much as I begrudgingly listened to his lecture, and he was by no means yelling or upset, I am glad he came and got me. What I didn't like was that when he got up to bear his testimony, he closed it with the note that he was glad to see I had come to church, that he had gone home to get me, and was proud of me for deciding to come. I love my dad and I get that was his way of showing his love for me, but dang it. I didn't want all the "I'm-glad-you-came-today"s that followed Sacrament meeting. I still haven't written the letter I intended to. It's a debate. One thing about myself is that I wear my heart and emotions on my sleeve. I'll open up to just about anyone willing to listen. I've learned from experience, not to give every piece of information and thought because people tend to freak out if you are that honest with them. The conversation goes from being a heart-to-heart to a bunch of " :/ I'm sorry." which means nothing. That is what is keeping me from this letter. I have been holding a grudge for a few months that I need to let go of. In my ideal, the letter would be a way for me to clear the air without having it be awkward. We'll see. I don't know.
Regardless of how lonely I feel, of how tired I am of the people in school or wherever I am, I am thankful for this girl.
She loves me...and somebody has to love her, right? (;
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