Random note -- it's 11:11. I made a wish.
My surgery is in seven days. My consultation was 21 days ago but it literally feels like it was last week.
I have two women in my life that I will call my "elder sisters". Their words of wisdom have meant a lot in the last couple weeks. The surgery is not a little thing; it's a pretty huge deal. Yeah, I will look better, to my own eyes at least. Maybe I'll feel better about myself. But as one of my wise elder sisters turned to me the other day, she looked me straight in the face and said, "I fully support you, but this will not get rid of any craziness going on in here", gesturing towards herself. It hadn't occurred to me, but she is right. I hadn't thought about it because my main thoughts have been on my outward appearance, not on my inner feelings. Both of these women have helped me realize that as strong of a person as I am, I have to rely on my Heavenly Father for strength. I have to.
3.24.2010
#128
Look for angles today: 90s, 45s, or any other combination of angles that make an interesting composition.
#127
Set an alarm for a random time today. Any time. When it goes off, pick up your camera and find a photo near where you are.
Tools of my trade @ work.
Tools of my trade @ work.
#126
Sunday challenge: It's a new season (Spring up north, Fall down south). Make a photograph that illustrates the change
#126
Sunday challenge: It's a new season (Spring up north, Fall down south). Make a photograph that illustrates the change
3.21.2010
Daily Shoot #125
Liquids can be still and reflective or in motion and chaotic. Make a photograph of something liquid today.
@ Tempe Beach Park after work.
no edits//shot as seen.
@ Tempe Beach Park after work.
no edits//shot as seen.
3.20.2010
#124
Change your angle today. Make a photo from 1' (30 cm) off the ground and post it.
My wittle baby, Jasper. <3
My wittle baby, Jasper. <3
3.18.2010
#123
Find something that's so old it's almost timeless and make a photograph of it.
Kyle's longboard. (:
Kyle's longboard. (:
3.17.2010
Daily Shoot #122
Grab your camera and walk 2 minutes in any direction. Stop. Find a photo worth making from where you stopped and post it.
I walked down my street with my little brother. There are no street lights; the only source of lights are the mailboxes.
I walked down my street with my little brother. There are no street lights; the only source of lights are the mailboxes.
Daily Shoot #121
Today's theme is "3". Make a photograph that features the number itself or otherwise represents 3 items.
Spencer treated me to Alice in Wonderland in 3D.
Spencer treated me to Alice in Wonderland in 3D.
3.16.2010
1, 2, 3, break.
Spring break, thank goodness, is here.
Thus far, I have worked and caught up on movies that I've missed. I just finished watching The Proposal, last night The Time Traveler's Wife, night before that Star Trek, and before that Public Enemies. I'd say I've covered a good variety of genres...romantic comedy, drama, sci-fi, thriller/gangster. At least I'm not bored. I always love a good film.
I started participating in Daily Shoot (http://www.dailyshoot.com) today. It's a photography project that presents you with a new theme every day and you're supposed to fulfill the theme by taking a photo and uploading it. The idea is to gain more experience and train your eye to look at things differently. It's a fun challenge; I've been looking at previous challenges. I am also doing a 365 project (http://www.365project.org) in conjunction with DS. 365PJ is simply to take a photo every day to document your life. Some people just do their faces, others just snap a photo wherever they are. I'm opting for the latter. I'd get tired of seeing my face every day.
To keep track of my photos, I created a Flickr account. Flickr is basically a place to create online photo albums for storage and sharing with other people. If you'd like, you can view mine at http://www.flickr.com/photos/playalex . There isn't much on there at all, at the moment, but it will gradually increase. Hopefully.
I have my pre-op in about 12 hours. The big day is around the corner -- 16 days. Just sixteen.
Thus far, I have worked and caught up on movies that I've missed. I just finished watching The Proposal, last night The Time Traveler's Wife, night before that Star Trek, and before that Public Enemies. I'd say I've covered a good variety of genres...romantic comedy, drama, sci-fi, thriller/gangster. At least I'm not bored. I always love a good film.
I started participating in Daily Shoot (http://www.dailyshoot.com) today. It's a photography project that presents you with a new theme every day and you're supposed to fulfill the theme by taking a photo and uploading it. The idea is to gain more experience and train your eye to look at things differently. It's a fun challenge; I've been looking at previous challenges. I am also doing a 365 project (http://www.365project.org) in conjunction with DS. 365PJ is simply to take a photo every day to document your life. Some people just do their faces, others just snap a photo wherever they are. I'm opting for the latter. I'd get tired of seeing my face every day.
To keep track of my photos, I created a Flickr account. Flickr is basically a place to create online photo albums for storage and sharing with other people. If you'd like, you can view mine at http://www.flickr.com/photos/playalex . There isn't much on there at all, at the moment, but it will gradually increase. Hopefully.
I have my pre-op in about 12 hours. The big day is around the corner -- 16 days. Just sixteen.
3.14.2010
3.13.2010
3.11.2010
having a hard time
I've been dying to write in here for the last week or so, but my days have seemed busier than I can ever recall. This is likely to be a venting-post. You've been warned.
I talk about change all the time. All. the. time. To be honest, nothing that cool ever really happens. But, in 20 days, I am guaranteed a change, one that I will be grateful for and indebted to my parents for the rest of my life. It's a personal thing and I don't know who reads my blog, if anyone (most likely), so I don't want to reveal anything. Anyways-- knowing what I'm in for has made me so antcy and impatient. I've lived like this my entire life, for as long as I can remember. Now the change, one of my biggest wishes, is right in front of me. I am terrified.
Since the beginning of my social life, I have always been best friends with guys. I wouldn't change that for anything. I love being around my guy friends and I feel infinitely blessed to have found my long-lost brothers. Twins, Jake, Stephen, Zach, Dylan, Kason... I love them beyond words. Not many girls are lucky as I am to be able to talk to these guys the way I can. To have them come to me for advice, say they are freaking out because they don't understand girls, etc. The really crappy thing? I am an "inbetween". The girl everyone loves to be friends with, but doesn't want to date. I think they forget that I'm a girl. I would love, just as much as any other, to be complimented, asked on a date, considered. While they come to me asking for help with prom, I am happy to help. When left to my own devices, I realize that I am not going to be asked. Like always. They have always been the only guys I can imagine knowing me well enough to be comfortable taking me places. I think what I'm getting at is that I am sad thinking about having another school dance come and go, even stupid prom, without having someone think of me and say, "Hmm... I want to go with Alex. She's awesome." This has always been the case, though this year's homecoming was an exception to the "I've never been asked". But whatever.
I'm so emotional. I miss relationships terribly, especially the physical-emotional connection. If I could roll my own eyes at myself, I would. I just think back on relationships I've been a part of and, though the person is not the same to me any more, I miss the feelings, the rushing, glazed-over-with-happiness expressions. Badly. And I've decided my middle name should be "Jumps the Gun". Alex "Jumps the Gun" C. Definitely has a ring to it.
I talk about change all the time. All. the. time. To be honest, nothing that cool ever really happens. But, in 20 days, I am guaranteed a change, one that I will be grateful for and indebted to my parents for the rest of my life. It's a personal thing and I don't know who reads my blog, if anyone (most likely), so I don't want to reveal anything. Anyways-- knowing what I'm in for has made me so antcy and impatient. I've lived like this my entire life, for as long as I can remember. Now the change, one of my biggest wishes, is right in front of me. I am terrified.
Since the beginning of my social life, I have always been best friends with guys. I wouldn't change that for anything. I love being around my guy friends and I feel infinitely blessed to have found my long-lost brothers. Twins, Jake, Stephen, Zach, Dylan, Kason... I love them beyond words. Not many girls are lucky as I am to be able to talk to these guys the way I can. To have them come to me for advice, say they are freaking out because they don't understand girls, etc. The really crappy thing? I am an "inbetween". The girl everyone loves to be friends with, but doesn't want to date. I think they forget that I'm a girl. I would love, just as much as any other, to be complimented, asked on a date, considered. While they come to me asking for help with prom, I am happy to help. When left to my own devices, I realize that I am not going to be asked. Like always. They have always been the only guys I can imagine knowing me well enough to be comfortable taking me places. I think what I'm getting at is that I am sad thinking about having another school dance come and go, even stupid prom, without having someone think of me and say, "Hmm... I want to go with Alex. She's awesome." This has always been the case, though this year's homecoming was an exception to the "I've never been asked". But whatever.
I'm so emotional. I miss relationships terribly, especially the physical-emotional connection. If I could roll my own eyes at myself, I would. I just think back on relationships I've been a part of and, though the person is not the same to me any more, I miss the feelings, the rushing, glazed-over-with-happiness expressions. Badly. And I've decided my middle name should be "Jumps the Gun". Alex "Jumps the Gun" C. Definitely has a ring to it.
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