1.08.2011

"I have a time machine, but it only goes forward at regular speed. It's basically a cardboard box that I wrote 'Time Machine' on in Sharpie."

I don't know how to feel right now. I'm stuck in limbo. I don't know what I want or what to do with myself. Or my life. I'm not the person I was before. Even a week ago I was in a different place with myself. Three hours ago, I was a different person. From this point, I have to choose which direction I want to go next. And I have no idea which direction I want to go. I know where I should go. It is a difficult, very difficult path, that promises happiness at the end. I know somewhere in my heart that I want that happiness that comes only by following that path. But right now, I don't sincerely desire it. That both saddens and scares me. Either way I go, I am afraid.
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4 comments:

  1. LuluJanuary 9, 2011 at 10:36 AM

    Ah my Alex. Jump. Do it. Those are the times when you make the right decisions out of sheer obedience and nothing else. I promise you if you make a step He will take a flying leap in your direction.

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  2. ChelseaJanuary 9, 2011 at 10:44 AM

    Meditate on it. Find yourself a nice hill with a tree to sit under and view to gaze upon and empty your mind. I find that what I am desperately searching for comes to me when I let my mind leave me. Most of all, do what is best for you. Happiness does not come from pleasing others and doing as one should sometimes.

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  3. ChelseaJanuary 9, 2011 at 10:45 AM

    P.S. Want to make a time machine? I'll bring the cardboard, you bring the Sharpie.

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  4. Sage and KellyJanuary 10, 2011 at 7:44 PM

    i agree with chelsea :)

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